“I turn on my computer. I wait patiently as it connects. I go online. My breath catches in my chest until I hear 3 little words, "You've got mail."

I keep on insisting in writing....in picturing with words all those things I think and feel and cannot say....at least say it to that couple of angels I cannot speak my mind to....directly...without being afraid or nervous...¿judged?...................I guess, this is gonna be a good exercise to train myself before getting into my master paper......................It's soft...invisible but harmful....it's me....and a couple of memories....some real....some made up...I have made up some memories these last days...and I like them....but I gotta face it....I'm trying to escape....to escape from poison of memories that are killing me today....I'm escaping from loneliness...but at the same time, I want to get a good friend....I don't want him to misunderstand....I just want his company and smile.....he's so kind....but time will tell..............I still wait for that phone call...that might never show up....but holds the silver thread of hope.....to convince myself that I didn't waste my time completely....that at least a little part of what I gave, grew up and has strong roots in the one I once loved so much.................